Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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