it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
