How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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