he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
