All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
