I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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