if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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