My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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