Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
