um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
