He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
