yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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