You really coming over, don't trick.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
