I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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