Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
