I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
