i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
