D3 body, D1 cock
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
