How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
