Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
