oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
