I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I am morally bankrupt
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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