this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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