I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
