Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
