Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
