you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
