You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
