I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
