WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
