I heard we made out
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
