Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
