if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
