Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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