; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
