apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
