North Korea, Best Korea!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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