Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
