fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
