i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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