I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There r osticjed everywhere
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
