she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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