U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
