On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
