My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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