you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
