I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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