my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
