Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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