whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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